Not ideal: Weak (Wi-Fi) connection, constant camera

By Yip Wai Yee

For the first time in three months, I was wearing lipstick.

I had also brushed my hair and I put on dangly earrings - a pair of sparkly jewels that have been sitting in my drawers ever since I started working from home in February.

I was going on a blind date and it was time to get out of my haggard, half-hobo state which had progressively gotten worse as the days of the circuit breaker flew by.

My rainbow-coloured polka dot pyjama shorts were staying on though. I did have my limits.

Besides, my date would never have to find out about the shorts as our meeting would be virtual, conducted entirely over a Zoom video call. As long as I remembered not to stand up midway through the call, he would be none the wiser.

As I clicked on the invite link and dialled into the meeting - set up by an enthusiastic matchmaker from dating agency Lunch Actually, whose operations had to go online amid the Covid-19 outbreak - I felt the same bout of nerves as I did for any other first date.

Despite being shielded by my laptop screen, and theoretically, the option of a quick exit plan with a click of the "leave meeting" button, I was still meeting a new person for the first time. No one wishes to leave a poor first impression, not even over an Internet call.

Also, what would we even talk about? We had not exchanged a single text message beforehand, which we would have if we had matched on a dating app, so he could have been a Trump supporter for all I knew.

Turns out, I did not have to worry so much. My date was a relatively seasoned virtual dater, having gone on five of these before, so he knew how to keep the chit chat going.

And while the novel coronavirus may have upended every aspect of our lives, even forcing the first date to go online, this so-called "new normal" also presented itself as an easy conversation starter.

"So, how have you adjusted to working from home? Have you also turned into a circuit baker or a quarantine chef? That is a cool Zoom virtual background."

These were natural ice breaker topics, and before I knew it, we had spoken for over an hour.

Still, there were some awkward moments.

The weak Wi-Fi connection in my room caused occasional lags in the call, which meant that we had a hard time hearing each other. Or, not realising the other person had finished speaking, we would proceed to talk over each other.

The fact that a camera was perpetually on myself, and that I could see that image so clearly, also made me even more self-conscious than usual. I never realised that I tilted my head so much, or that I tended to laugh with my eyes squeezed shut.

We ended the date with an exchange of our mobile numbers and the vague possibility of meeting in person someday.

As flawed as a virtual first date was, I could see why it was the next best option. During a time when people may be feeling extra lonely, or for those who are just really bored, you work with what you have.

I never thought I would say this, but I'm looking forward to being able to go on physical first dates again. They will always be awkward, but at least we can share a good meal in the process. I'll just have to remember to leave those pyjama shorts in the closet.

Less pressure on a virtual date

By Bryan De Silva

It was 10 minutes before my video call at 7pm and I was feeling nervous. I stared at my laptop screen blankly as my mouse cursor hovered over the web link that would take me to my first virtual date.

Video calling has become a norm in these days of working from home. But the stakes seem higher when you realise that feelings may be involved.

A web link to the chat was pre-arranged by our dating consultant who would meet us in the chatroom and make sure we both were set up before leaving us to it.

With five minutes to go, I mentally ticked off the checklist: Adjust webcam, check lighting, make sure I look presentable (from waist up) in my collared shirt, ensure the Wi-Fi connection is strong and check I am set up at the least noisy spot in my house.

But of course, I found myself having to scramble as I entered the chat, because my camera was off. My date - let's call her "Jamie" - stared awkwardly into her webcam and at me, as I tried to figure out where my camera button is.

I tried to break the ice by giving her a running commentary of where my cursor was while assuring her it was not an attempt to make this a literal blind date.

Webcam finally switched on, we exchanged pleasantries and I figured I'd lead with honesty - that it was my first virtual date and first time being assisted by a dating agency.

Jamie looked calm, which I soon realised was because this wasn't her first try at virtual dating. But I was more than happy to take a cue from her on how things go in this new world of digital romance.

Once we got over the small talk, the conversations flowed easily. We commiserated about the state of the world, spoke candidly about our parents and - of course - lamented over dating life.

Jamie even shared a horror virtual date when the guy she was matched with looked everywhere except at the screen.

Before I knew it, we had chatted for almost four hours.

Towards the end, I jokingly told her I am giving myself eight out of ten for my first virtual date showing. She agreed with me, though it was probably pretty easy for me to look good following her previous encounter.

After I logged off, I felt physically and mentally drained.

I realised that being locked in and focused on a screen without any distractions or breaks in conversation was pretty exhausting. The conversation itself sometimes lagged as we navigated the occasional video delays, but it was nothing that soured the experience.

For those lucky to have a great match, my advice would be to grab a bite before the virtual date. And have a bottle of water or two next to you because you're going to be talking a lot.

While nothing can replace the excitement of physically meeting a blind date for the first time, there's something to be said about dating virtually.

There's definitely much less pressure for both parties to show up with their A game - for instance, looking presentable from the waist up is all you need to focus on and, well, you can save on the cologne or perfume too.

A virtual date also wouldn't cost as much as a real one and can be used as a prelude to the real thing, not unlike screening a call before you pick it up. While virtual dating won't completely replace real life dating, there might be a place for it in a post-Covid-19 world.

Jamie and I exchanged phone numbers and promised to meet in real life once the opportunity presented itself. But if that doesn't work out, I'm now better equipped to find love in a virtual world.