SINGAPORE – He was a strapping sportsman at 17 and had agreed to help the man in his 70s move furniture from his flat.

But that “grandfather figure” drugged and raped him, said Mohammad (not his real name), 35, who now volunteers with The Whitehatters.

On Saturday, the non-profit organisation launched a toolkit and a campaign against sexual violence called A Holding Space, at thematic and meeting space Huone Singapore in River Valley Road.

The toolkit is designed to help victims and survivors of sexual violence, compiling key information found online and presenting it in an easy-to-read format.

The group plans campaigns and organises dialogues on building a socially cohesive society, and promotes responsible advocacy and activism in Singapore.

One of the areas it is tackling is sexual assault.

Ms Shahrany Hassan, founder and director of the group, said the toolkit is designed to resemble social media posts, so it feels familiar and accessible, and less daunting.

“By equipping victims and survivors with knowledge and information, the toolkit empowers them to take back control of their lives and begin the process of healing,” she said.

The launch was attended by 130 people, including social workers, psychologists, victims and members of the public.

In her opening speech, Ms Shahrany said the toolkit is just as important for male sexual assault victims as it is for female ones.

“They experience similar effects of sexual violence as female victims, such as shame, grief, anger and fear. They also have issues surrounding their sexual or gender identity, so reporting and talking about their experiences become especially difficult.”

Ms Shahrany added that the toolkit serves as a valuable resource for the families and friends of survivors to better understand the options available to them and encourages them to take on a pivotal role in supporting their loved ones.

“By creating an environment where victims and survivors feel validated and supported, we can foster a sense of healing and empowerment.”

Ms Shahrany called the almost 10,000 sexual crime cases that were reported to the police between 2019 and 2022 the tip of the iceberg.

She said: “Studies have shown that 81 per cent (of sexual assaults) go unreported.”

In Mohammad’s case, he said he and the elderly man would talk at the mosque every Friday.

He said the man gave him tea when they reached his home and after that, everything was foggy.

“I was disoriented, frozen and felt paralysed. It was like I was a third person watching what he was doing to me. He undressed and raped me.”

Mohammad did not make a report.

He said: “Who would believe me? I was young, muscular and a sportsman in my prime. He was a skinny old man in his 70s who needed support when he walked.”

Like many victims of sexual violence, Mohammad struggled with trust, intimacy, and self-esteem issues long after the incident.

He said: “I could not understand why my body was reacting the way it did. I definitely did not like what he was doing to me.”

He went for a medical examination and was “thankful the doctor was professional and did not judge me”, he said.

Later, Mohammad underwent checks for sexually transmitted diseases and was clear of any infection.

Mr Leow Yangfa, executive director of Oogachaga, a community-based, non-profit, professional organisation working with the LGBTQ+ community, said it is difficult for male sexual assault victims to seek professional support or make a police report.

“This could be due to the fear of not being believed, a fear shared by female victims. There is also the shame about how he (the victim) may not have been ‘man enough’ to prevent the sexual violence.”

International studies have shown that men and boys who have been sexually assaulted are more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety and depression.

They often turn to alcohol, binge smoking or eating, and adopt risk-taking and delinquent behaviours such as having casual relationships with many partners.

Mohammad admitted he was doing just that, which disappointed his parents.

He said: “I had changed from being their good son, who was studious and friendly, to someone my mother referred to as a ‘monster’.”

He realised he was suffering from depression, the result of PTSD, only when a former colleague insisted he get professional help.

Mohammad said he went to We Care Community Services, an addiction recovery centre.

“It was here that I healed. It took me just over a decade to recover, including four years of therapy to undo what the old man did.”

Mohammad said the Covid-19 pandemic helped reboot his life.

“Now, I have a job with a Fortune 500 company and I met the love of my life a few years ago. She loves me for myself, despite my past.

“I also managed to forgive the man who assaulted me and, in doing so, I no longer hate myself.”