SINGAPORE - Madam Loh Yoke Lan was four months pregnant with Chua Chee Hon when she was told he would have special needs.
“From when he was a baby to now, when he is 18, I don’t feel it has been a very difficult process. I raised him as I would raise any other child,” said Madam Loh in Mandarin.
The 58-year-old, who has another son aged 23, said Chee Hon usually takes more time to understand instructions.
He has speech difficulties, as his voice box is not well developed. Chee Hon is otherwise an independent young man, his mother said.
Every morning, he prepares his own breakfast before he heads off to the Movement for the Intellectually Disabled of Singapore (Minds) – Lee Kong Chian Gardens School in Margaret Drive.
The family lives in Jurong East, and Chee Hon takes public transport by himself to school every day.
When he returns home, he immediately prepares his school uniform and materials for the next day.
He also helps his mother with housework, such as mopping the floor, cleaning the fan and preparing meals.
“He’s a very sweet boy. For example, if he knows my legs hurt, he won’t allow me to carry heavy objects and will do it for me,” said Madam Loh, who is a housewife. Her husband works as a design assistant.
In 2023, Chee Hon graduated. He is scheduled for a vocational assessment to see if he is suitable for employment with external organisations.
Madam Loh is worried about the next phase in her son’s life.
“But I tell myself I must put these worries aside and accompany him on this journey, to let him have confidence to face a new environment and new milestone,” she said.
Minds, which serves persons with intellectual disability, their caregivers and families, has about 90 caregivers aged 65 and above, who are caring for their adult children with special needs.
Many of the older caregivers are worried that after they die, their children may have to fend for themselves.
Madam Loh has similar concerns.
When she and her husband are no longer around, she hopes Chee Hon can live in an assisted-living apartment, like the community care apartments available for seniors.
Madam Loh said: “We don’t know what will happen to (our child with special needs) in the future. The only solution is to try to teach and take them out while we are still around.
“Most importantly, parents have to take their child out (to interact with the outside world). If the parents think that their child will not be able to contribute to society, the child will be unable to step out, and it would be unfair for them,” she said.
Madam Loh encourages Chee Hon to participate in activities such as the Very Special Choir, which includes children with special needs such as Down syndrome and autism.
The mother-and-son duo perform songs together with other families.
They were in Batam to sing at an orphanage’s Christmas celebrations in December 2023.
They are at the new Minds Hub @ YMCA-Minds Bukit Batok about three times a week, where Chee Hon enjoys art activities while Madam Loh connects with other caregivers.
Minds Hub’s senior manager of community-based support services Serene Tan said most caregivers’ top worry is their children’s independence and future plans.
Minds has a future care planning team that teaches people with special needs independent living skills, and supports caregivers in deputy applications – which ensure the child has a legal deputy who can make decisions on their behalf, should they be unable to care for the child.
The team, which was set up in April 2021, has helped about 40 caregivers thus far.
Ms Tan encourages more caregivers to seek support from one-stop centres such as Minds Hub.
People with intellectual disabilities can join programmes such as painting and cooking at the hubs, while their caregivers can find support groups and short-term relief options.
“There’s a theme of loneliness sometimes in the caregiving journey, for them as well as for the child.
“To lead a fulfilling life, or even to be independent, you need a community, a place where you can feel safe, supported and accepted.” said Ms Tan.
